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I buried my words in the sand today, gone are the writings, writings that were feverishly written in that small notebook, one I carried, one that was not real like you, decorated with words of a found love, in you it seems a lifetime not so long ago. I burned the pages to ashes, the words darkened on white paper as they disappeared, feeling as my blood poured all out to clean my soul...but because the memory still lived on inside of me, you launched my heart out to the sea, memory and heart were separate now, my heart sailed through the ocean to live with your memory afar. They clashed, they really did, my heart and your memory, but they separated with the crashing waves, alter-egos and a fascination with survival. One grew to hate, one grew to love, but mostly I grew an empty hole that no one was ever allowed to touch. A hole so deep, it still sends shivers through a body every time someone cast their eyes upon it. Some ask where the chills in my voice come from--I shrug, and walk away. And the day I left you for a lover, my heart reunited with a empty hole, you unknowingly crawled back into my heart, holding me as I cried and shook without showing signs at all. I lay still, cursing myself for being so immune to your love. Shaking, you tried to slide yourself into me. but I won't allow it. I won't allow you to ever be inside of me again. Your voice, your eyes, your touch, your laugh—It still lives inside of me so who am I fooling. You never stopped being my everything, the day you sent my broken heart away I stopped being whole when I replaced the empty hole with a memory. Little did I know you were covering my heart, your body over my heart like a blanket, always there, protecting. I thought you left me in the cold, maybe you covered my heart to protect it from myself.
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